margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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