Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
