I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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