Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
