I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
