oh god the rape fog is back!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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