just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
