You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
