he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
