Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
