return my video game
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have feelings that need drinking.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
