Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
