I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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