Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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