the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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