I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
