I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
