So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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