i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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