U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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