What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
