Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
