Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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