i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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