Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
