i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We left the knife in your bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
