dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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