I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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