we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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