She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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