So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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