I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
