If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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