mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize