Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
