You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize