Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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