It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
