Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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