I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize