some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
