we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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