Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
