Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
