can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
