Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
