i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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