You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
