I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
