I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize