Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
