so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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