Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
