New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
