if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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