Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
