There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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