And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
