i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
