I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
