I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
